Casper

I regret with all my heart to have fallen for the same guy again and again.

But like my favourite drama tells me, 
"Liking a person isn't your choice, but to admit it, it is."

As I said I fell for the same guy, it isn't that he is the same person for years,
but the other guy with another name, another smile and another devious aura.

The previous one was just a start to my real life, where I knew I had to make the decisions for myself and I could say it wasn't a mistake,
even though I hit my head hard when I realized he wasn't for me.
Or I wan't for him.

That previous soul gave me a hard beating, that I realized while beating me to the bone, I knew he wanted me to learn.
But as I did, I fell into the same black abyss as I did when I found him at the bottom.
This time, it wasn't him.
It was this other casper-bee that looked as if he was floating in the air...
I always wondered why he floated like that.
A bee that could buzz about but chose to stay and hover.

Now I knew.

The gravity had nothing against him...
but the flower angel by his side has been holding him up with her wings.

Now I know.
I know.

I admit it, though...
I admit it.

For falling for his sweet, devious smile, his laughter that made my world shake, his passion in life that never fails to inspire me...
and his very soul.

Because that's my choice to admit.
Even so, never to him, I will admit.
It would scar me for life, even if that life I say
is only going to be just 2 to 3 years.

But unlike the previous one, I'm giving up.
I didn't give up in the end for the previous one...
I just decided to stay as I am.
As a friend that never changes...

With this one, though, I knew I was nothing but a wilted flower 
in the field of beautiful blooming flowers during spring.
In the heart of the field, this flower angel hovered with beauty.

Beauty that captured no other busy bee but that casper-like bee.

He seemed like he was see-through.
But who am I to judge ?
See-through but stings better than any other bee ?

I'm giving up.

Giving up without saying a word.

I'll wilt away and hope that someday, someone will water me again 
with the same love yet more powerful...
So I can grow as beautiful as the flower angel.

The flower angel that seemed to brighten the casper-like bee's eyes
every time he looked at her.

I'm giving up.